Saturday 21 March 2009

It's a bad bad bad bad film

Shark in Venice that is. It is shocking. Best viewed on a very small screen, mainly so no-one can see what it is you're watching.

If I say the name Stephen Baldwin, then I think that gives you a clue as to what you're in for. Apparently he's a lecturer at an oceanographic institute (it's not named, probably for the best) and his fiancee is also on the staff (she's very smart we're told later). His father is a deep sea diver, working in Venice on an unnamed project and goes missing after an 'accident'.

One quick flight to Venice later, we discover that Stephen is unconvinced with the official explanation of a boat propellor v diver incident. I suspect that the teethmarks were probably a bit of a giveaway, but there you go.

It's at this point that the plot takes a turn for the slightly less believable, cramming in a bizarre subplot about the Medici Treasure (complete with remarkable 'historical' sequence) and the least convincing Mafia don I've ever seen.

And don't get me started on the sharks. Stock footage, cut with bizarre CGI - though they really should have checked for bystander reaction (or lack of it) in one particularly outstanding moment.

As for the script, well, if I say it lent itself rather well to the quality of acting (presumably sponsored by Cuprinol) I think you'll get the idea.

One final thing, given that Mr Baldwin is on the slightly doughy side, it's probably a good thing that he didn't take off his everpresent grey sweater, which was disturbingly clingy.

And yes, I'll probably end up watching it again.

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