Monday, 9 June 2008

Bad fillums rool

I have just sat and watched 'Bone Eater'. The most gloriously shitty film I've seen in a long while. Abso-bloody-lutely brilliant stuff.

The cast list reads like a who's who of cheese. Gil Gerard (almost unrecognisable), Bruce Boxleitner, William Katt, Veronica Hamel (also unrecognisable, I suspect large amounts of botox) and Walter Koenig (I missed his bit though).

Plot goes thus: Workers on the evil real estate developer's site uncover sacred native american relics. Cue dramatic music and small earthquake, then appearance of 8 foot tall skellington which then proceeds to dissolve the workers. Yes, you read that right, DISSOLVE them. (It was at this point that my sense of disbelief not only suspended itself, but flew off into the night.) Turns out that this large creature is the titular Bone Eater, according to legend a naughty shaman who went a bit power crazy and killed loads of people (dissolving may have featured, but that wasn't really expanded on). So, more dissolvings (total and partial, in the case of one unfortunate deputy) later, there's a very fast eclipse and some other mumbo jumbo.

If you get the chance, and you don't have anything more interesting or useful to do (such as watching paint dry or grass grow), then give it a try. It won't disappoint. Honest!

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