Monday, 24 October 2005

Monday morning non-blues

Yes indeed, it's a Monday and I'm not feeling like I want to go on a hormonally induced homicidal rampage. Result!

Can't quite put my finger on why, though that maybe a good thing. Introspection is all very well, but there are times it doesn't actually help.

I think that, in the last couple of weeks, I've just come to certain realisations that I was shrinking from. Realising that people can sometimes be a bit rubbish, however much you'd wish it otherwise. That life isn't always fair (or more accurately, is nearly always UN-fair), and that however badly you think of yourself, none of your friends are thinking anything like that - and if they are, then they're certainly not the kind of people you should be surrounding yourself with.

All of this is fairly self-evident, or should be, but then your head sometimes just gets it all muddled around, so that you take on responsibility for other people's failings. Feeling bad when your friends have been let down is one thing - putting on a hair shirt and wailing 'Woe is me' is entirely another. (Of course, I'm speaking metaphorically here. I have never wailed 'Woe is me.' Ever.)

There's also that trick of allowing yourself to feel hopeful - something I forgot in the last few months. Allowing yourself to just sit back and enjoy what's happening now, instead of worrying about what might happen in a few day's time, or a few month's time or (more likely) not happen at all, you daft mare.

Still, it's nice to know that our IT department can reduce me to trembling rage by their sheer ineptitude. At least I'll always be able to rely on that.

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