Valentines, Schmalentines

Praise the lord, Hallmark Day is here once again. And, as is the usual custom on these occasions, I am single. Again.

Whoo. I have to say that, up until this morning, I was managing to affect supreme indifference to the whole shebang. However, my hormones now have different ideas, so I've just had a mini-sob in the loo. (How terribly Bridget Jones-esque of me.)

It's better now than last year, when I was stuck in a freezing cold house in Wakefield, with a man who dumped me unceremoniously 2 months later, claiming, upon later questioning, that he'd had doubts since Valentine's Day about our suitability.

I know that, at the moment, I'm probably more susceptible to this kind of thing as I've got other things going on in my mind, that affect every part of life, but surely it's not too much to ask to meet a man who's not a lying, two-faced, scum-sucking weasel? Bitter? Me? Whatever gives you that impression?

I'm not even that bothered about not getting a card or anything, as I've never really had any. Well, apart from the one I got one year from my parents. Bless them.

Things I have learned this week.

1. If you are a balding, portly, male clerical worker in your mid to late thirties, do not buy a leather trenchcoat. It will not make you look like Neo from the Matrix. It will, however, make you look like a balding, portly, male clerical worker in your mid to late thirties wearing an ill-fitting leather trenchcoat.

2. If you are crossing the road at the corner of Waterloo Bridge and Aldwych, at least one homicidal cyclist will attempt to mow you down. Even when the little man is green.

3. If you stay at work late, the fire alarm will go off just as you're getting ready to leave. And it won't be the announcement telling you to evacuate; instead 'The Voice' will politely request that you 'remain at your workplace while the fire is being investigated.' (Note to self: if it starts getting a bit warm, ignore this voice, instead listen to the little one in your head telling you to run for the hills)

4. It doesn't take much to cheer someone up. A kind word, an unexpected hug or even saying rude words can do it.

5. My mam is one of the most amazing and incredible people I know. She is going through the most unbearably sad time, yet she still takes the time to make sure I'm ok. She is dealing with all kinds of stresses and strains, and yet she can still manage to make me laugh like a drain. She's not just my mam, she's also my best mate and I am incredibly proud of her. And when (if) I grow up, I want to be just like her.

Strictly speaking, the last two are something I've known for a while, but it's about time I actually put them into writing.