I know what it's all about today. Which is a bit of a change from normal, where I'm just a bit clueless. Still, today's blues are hard, since I can do absolutely nothing about it. I just have to ride it out.
To be honest, I've been dreading today for weeks. Ever since the signs for Father's Day started appearing in the card shops. More so than is usual, but I think that's also related to the other things that have happened this year. And how much I've wished my dads (yep, both of 'em) were there to turn to.
I know I'm luckier than a lot of people, in that not only was my real father an absolute hero, but my stepfather was too. Despite me not wanting him to be, when I first met him. Unfortunately, it sometimes makes it incredibly hard to deal with the fact that neither of them are here now.
Funny thing was, I managed to keep the tears away until I talked to my mother earlier today. And it only started when I just wanted to make sure they had known how much I loved them. I suppose it's the thing you worry about most. Making sure that the people you love actually know that. I think it's the one thing I'm most bothered about with friends and family now.
Though, on reflection, it's not entirely a bad thing.
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